Thankful, thankful.

I will not hesitate to admit that I had approached this holiday with apprehension. As we’ve gotten closer and closer to Thanksgiving, the first official family holiday where we were made to be apart from our families and had to work to keep our own traditions alive by sharing them with each other, as our schedule for the day and the long weekend filled with plans and grocery lists and many other kinds of lists, I had no idea how this would go. I had the distinct feeling that we’d overbooked ourselves for too many dishes to prep in too little time, given too many affirmative RSVPS to too many social engagements, and generally planned a somewhat stressful day, not at all like the quiet and restful Thanksgivings I spend with my family. I was on my guard for this one.

It was perfect. In this place, on that day, with my strange and perfect little family of a community, this holiday was uniquely and exquisitely Juneau, and one that I will never forget. And it began, as I’ve now learned that all unforgettable Thanksgivings do, on the Wednesday before. As we dragged ourselves to work on that last day before a sweet, sweet, break, shrouded in the fourth day in a row of snow showers, I threw out my old go-to comment on the weather, “maybe we’ll have a snow day today.” It was a quiet day at work to begin with. It seemed that many had started the holiday early by grabbing more time with their families. By 3 pm, conditions were blizzard-ly, even by Juneau standards, and my office closed early for the rest of us. It was so incredible to have a snow day (well, a snow afternoon at least) to kick off this weekend. Such a blessing. I’ll never get sick of snow.

As I was leaving, a few of the women in my office were finishing up working in the kitchen to make a thanksgiving meal for some of the families we work with. They’d been working all day and had so, so much food. They were worried that nobody would come to the meal and that all the food would go to waste, and asked if they could give the JVs some food. I was absolutely overwhelmed as these women loaded up two boxes of food, including an ENTIRE. FULL COOKED. TURKEY. Luckily my housemate Maggie had stopped by to visit my office and would be able to help me carry it all; that’s how much there was! My boss helped us out by giving us a ride closer to the bus stop. I probably have never felt more ridiculous than I did trudging toward that bus stop, through a foot of snow, more snow falling so fast that it was coming down horizontally, holding an entire Thanksgiving dinner. It was hysterical. But I also couldn’t help but think how sad it was that this food couldn’t somehow go to somebody more in need. We already had donations coming to us, so many people wanting to make sure that we could have a full Thanksgiving, and we did have a good meal planned, although I think it it goes without saying that no food in our house would ever go uneaten. I struggled a lot with what my opinion was on what our community should do with all the food. Juneau does make a remarkable effort to make sure every single person is provided with a Thanksgiving meal. Maybe it’s that way in a lot of places and it’s just that this is my first year truly realizing it from working in social services, but the city-wide effort is truly an inspiration. A central location downtown served an entirely free thanksgiving dinner with over fifty turkeys present, and every single agency that myself and my housemates work at provided a Thanksgiving dinner for its residents and clients, as well as putting together Thanksgiving boxes to give to more people. But it does sadden me that even with all that effort, I’m sure that a full meal didn’t get to absolutely everyone. But it was such a blessing that CCS provided us with such wonderful food, such a selfless thing of them to do. We decided to take some of the food to the Turkey Trot the next morning, where donations for the food bank were being collected, and kept the turkey for our feast.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving continued with new experiences as my housemate Maggie took us out, introducing the rest of us to what is apparently a famous bar holiday known as Black Wednesday, the night before thanksgiving and the biggest bar night of the year. After partaking firsthand, I do have mixed feelings about this holiday, as it does interfere with one’s enjoyment of Thanksgiving Day, but honestly, we had a great time.

Let me tell you, everything about our Thanksgiving Day morning was unique. One housemate, Irene, had work from 8 am to noon, and another housemate, Shane, had to go to work at 2:30 pm. We had exactly two and a half hours to finish prepping our meal and eat it. In the meantime, four of us had wanted to go to the Turkey Trot, in costume (dressed as canned foods – I was cranberry sauce). The morning was a recipe for chaos, but we thought we had it all figured out – Irene would put the turkey in before she went to work, the rest of us could sleep until the turkey trot at 10, then we’d come back and finish cooking in time to eat around 12 30 or 1.

I awoke on this day, the morning after our Black Wednesday initiation, to a 7:30 am text message from Irene saying that the power had gone out and that somebody else would need to put the turkey in. Seriously?! The power went out on THANKSGIVING?! Luckily it came back on pretty soon and I was able to put the turkey in, then grab a couple more hours of sleep before the race. I woke up again at 9:40, and I think it’s safe to say that all of us had seriously mixed feelings about the Turkey Trot. We were torn between feeling loyal to the costumes that we had already created and wanting to show them off, wanting to donate to the food collection, wanting to participate, and wanting to sleep (the most tempting of them all). I don’t know how we did it, but we pulled ourselves out of bed and got into those costumes. As we started walking to the race, dimly aware that it had started five minutes ago and that we were actually already missing it, tinfoil can lids on our heads, we were hit by a massive wave of feeling completely ridiculous. We ended up arriving at the race 45 minutes late, stayed for exactly 30 seconds, and left to drag our canned selves home, but not before the local newspaper snapped a photo of all of us. SO we are officially immortalized in the Friday, November 25, 2011 issue of the Juneau Empire, on the SPORTS page which is easily the funniest part of this entire story, incorrectly touted as Best Costume Winners (really, I called and investigated after reading that in the paper – there apparently was some confusion because we hadn’t actually participated in the race, so they couldn’t give us a prize. I guess that’s valid.).

The rest of the day was more traditional, and equally wonderful – we had plenty of time to eat our meal and made it to a few additional gatherings around town before calling it quits with the social engagements and all going to bed by 11 pm. The entire experience was absolutely perfect for my community. It was strange not to be at home in North Carolina, for sure. But it was so cool hearing about the Thanksgiving traditions that my housemates have and trying to bring all of them together to create our own celebration of Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so much this weekend. I am thankful for the kindness of the people here, both those I came with and those I’ve met here. I am thankful for the fog that hangs between the snow-capped mountains and dips down to the channel. I am thankful for the family I have in my friends, the family I have in my community, and the family I have in my actual family, and their incredible support, warmth, and love. It is absolutely a blessing that I was here in Juneau, with these people, for this Thanksgiving, and it was definitely one I will never forget.


Happy holidays :)

I haven't written since last season!...

...And I say that because now it is totally, absolutely, completely winter in Juneau. Seriously. I'm wearing a wool sweater. And last night/today was also the third snowfall of the year, and it was a big one - about a foot of snow I'd say, although I struggle with depth perception so it might be like 2 centimeters of snow, I honestly can't tell. It is also getting dark at about 4 pm, so that's been a struggle too. My self-diagnosis of seasonal affective disorder has also been confirmed by housemates and coworkers, so I'm going to go ahead and say it's legitimate. I've been snuggling up to the house happy lamp (it simulates the sun, increases your vitamin D production,makes you happy, it's amazing) almost daily, so that helps. What an interesting change this climate has been for me - an adventure in itself. Did you know rain pants are a thing that people actually own?! They're like snow pants, but lighter. Very versatile - can be worn over pants, dresses, skirts, Halloween costumes. I didn't even know that rain pants actually existed! Although I don't think you have to live in Alaska to own a happy lamp; I personally feel that every home in Pennsylvania should come equipped with one, since Villanova gets roughly the same amount of sunshine that Juneau, a RAINFOREST, does.

Anyway. So I've been writing a lot, just not on here - mostly to people directly, or to myself when my thoughts get kind of sad or whiny. I don't want this to be a whiny blog. What a downer. It's been a tough month and a half or so, and I can officially say that the honeymoon period is over. Events of note include an area visit from our JVC Alaska area director, Danielle. Pretty much Danielle spends a week living with each JV community in Alaska, has a one on one with us, holds a meeting with our supervisors and us, runs a spirituality night, and just checks in to see how our community is doing. A few weeks later, over Halloween weekend, we had a much-needed five day weekend in Anchorage for our first of three retreats with the rest of the Alaska JV communities (We're hosting the next one! So excited!!). That was a hell of a weekend, oh.my.gosh. I say that because it was not exactly restful, but it was a very important weekend, especially for my community. With JVC come a lot more commitments than just your volunteer placement - namely, community is the biggest one, and it defines everything. Our Juneau community has literally become a family, and that's been amazing - we know each other, we love each other, and we make fun of each other (the trifecta of criteria for a family, I'd say!). But, on the other hand, how often do issues and conflicts come up within a family? QUITE often, and our community is no exception. This retreat was an incredible opportunity because, for once, we couldn't come home at the end of a long workday and push conflict under the rug because we didn't have it in us to deal with it. Instead, we had an entire weekend where we could intentionally communicate and grow together, without the distractions that work placements - a huge stressor for every single person, obviously - create. It was a tough weekend for us, to be sure. We hurt, we healed, we talked, we talked more. We were fortunate to have decided to take an extra day in Anchorage before flying back home, so we had an extra day to enjoy Halloween and the city together before going our separate ways back to work.

As for work, it's honestly something that is very challenging for me right now, in a lot of ways. But I told myself before I came here that I could do anything for a year, and I believe that I can. So I'm keeping at it. It has many low points, but it has high points too that are really there as long as I look for them. So I'm just going to keep looking. I understand this is all vague. Most days it would have been hard for me to even write this much about work, because of how completely it has been challenging me, but today is actually a very relaxed day, for once, and I felt up to saying a little something about it.

I feel that this is an incomplete update, but I'm going to try to get out of here before the snow gets worse and I get stuck at work FOREVER.

Pictures of snow soon :)

Ok. bye,

Liz

Keep my eyes discerned, my hands to learn.

For this post, I've decided to just share something that I wrote in a letter to someone. I feel like it sums up my experience so far pretty well and was something that I wanted to share with you all.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Suffice it to say that I am exhausted, but I'm exhausted from being challenged, so I think that's a good thing. The challenge of JVC encompasses all things, literally every aspect of your life, but in doing so it forces you to reexamine every aspect of your life and who you are in it, whether you have integrity in remaining dedicated to your character,what parts of that character you even want to stay dedicated to and what parts you don't love so much. There is nothing familiar about this experience, but I am realizing (actually I kind of just realized it, like as I am writing this sentence right now) that maybe we shouldn't just push through unfamiliarity, blowing by it on the way to a new life that feels comfortable and familiar. Instead, maybe we should focus on the vulnerability we feel and embrace it as a chance to hyperfocus on who we are, what parts of us remain stable when a situation feels unstable. These parts create a character. These parts are our gifts.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The only other thing that I wanted to mention comes from a personal struggle of mine that I've identified, and it's the struggle of being present - being mentally in a place that I am in, whether I have chosen to be there or have been required to. It was a phrase that my yoga instructor mentioned last night in class as a call to refocus:

"Nothing else, just this."

Say it to yourself the next time you find yourself wishing you were someplace else. I found it so important and profound, and at the same time so relievingly simplifying of this concept of being present, and I just wanted to share that as well.

All my love,

Liz

Click here for photos. I hope you drink them in and feel refreshed, as I do every day that I see these incredible sights!!

That's all for now. Enjoy. :)

Oh, hello! Hmm, where to start. I realized that I never know how to start these post things, because I never have a plan for what I am going to write in these post things, so I tend to just launch into my day/week/life happenings. I realize that the more linear-minded of you might struggle with that, but let's just see where it goes, won't that be fun? I would like to introduce you to a word that has defined approximately 70 percent of my waking hours for the past week, actually five weeks: TRAINING. lots and lots. of training. And coming into JVC, I knew that'd be the case. And it really doesn't sound too bad, because you just need to sit there and listen, and you're not really accountable for anything because everyone knows that you know nothing or else, obviously, you would not need the aforementioned training. But the other side of this is that people are talking at you, not to you, and the information they are giving you is often overwhelmingly plentiful and overwhelmingly important, and you know this, but your brain has a threshold, as everyone's does. So, it just. takes. time. This is the most important thing I've had to remind myself of, even when some trainings wrap up and I've begun doing some of my work with the kids. For example, part of my job is to be a behavioral health associate, which essentially means that I spend time with the kids who are my clients and help them work on the parts of acceptable behavior that they struggle with. These kids are all classified as emotionally disturbed or severely emotionally disturbed, and as their BHA I have access to information about all of their history, all of the things that they've seen and experienced that no child should see or experience. It's a challenge to stay present in this job, to interact with a child who is right there in front of me, when all the thoughts running through my mind are of their past, what they've gone through and the injustice of that. And after recently beginning to work with the kids, it's also intimidating to interact with them while knowing that they can be triggered at any moment, by any phrase or change in environment or even the wrong tone of voice. This is where the struggle of being a BHA lies for me, but it is an important one. For now, I want to try to build relationships rather than modify behaviors. i've been challenged by the kids I've worked with, and I am constantly reminding myself that this job will take time. And I'm okay with that.

In recent news, the past three days have been GORGEOUS. unbelievably clear skies, the cliffs at the very top of the mountains clearly visible for the first time in forever. It's incredible how seeing something like that can turn a day around so easily. I'm doing a training with the women's shelter in town because I'd like to volunteer there, so I had to sit in a training room all day on Saturday and Sunday, and it almost killed me! But as soon as we finished, we drove out to one of the more remote parts of Juneau that has some killer views, and then my roommates and I played wiffle ball on the beach and had dinner together. So, I still got my share of sunshine :)

Also, on a random note (hmm that's weird, usually I'm so organized haaa), I've also really been loving connecting with people from Villanova, and from home too. Every single time, I think it's such a day-maker to get an email, facebook message, text, letter (I'm becoming so, so addicted to snail mail), or phone call from people back east. You guys are the people who ground me and remind me of who I am even when I forget, and I can't tell you what all that love means for me. Keep it comin', and know that if I haven't gotten to return an email or call just yet, you're on my list and I look forward to talking to you soon!! Thanks for everything, beautiful people. You're the best!

Today has been a much-needed low-key day. Went to church, went for a mini hike. And somebody from the community is bringing dinner over for us tonight! Just because they wanna!! Gumbo. YUM. It’s been a nice day, although the more low-key days we have, the more we begin to realize how at risk we are of cabin fever. I love to be a homebody and relax, but in these initial weeks of settling into our jobs, we have had a lot of downtime at home, and sometimes it makes me a little antsy! So I’m going to start working a little harder to have a life outside of work that at least sometimes goes beyond coming straight home. I’m looking into joining a gym, looking into different activities and classes there are in the city. One of my JV roommates, Leslie, works at an art studio, and the rest of us are able to take any art class for free if we volunteer for a little, which is exciting! So pretty much, one of my biggest goals right now is getting a life, or at least starting to make a life here that will make it feel a bit more like a home.
At the same time, work is going to be picking up in responsibility as my training starts to wrap up, which is a bit nerve-wracking. But I am looking forward to really delving into this job and learning all that I can from it, which, as terrifying as that is, just can’t really happen until I’m in the midst of it, on my own, not in training but actually doing. Obviously, YIKES. There’s still so much that I’m fuzzy on, and so much that intimidates me, and it’s going to be a stretch. But being stretched is the best way to grow, right?
And regardless of day-to-day worklife stressors, there’s the natural beauty of Juneau, and it honestly makes everything make sense. Juneau is rarely without rain and fog, but even so, it is beautiful in that way. It is a different kind of beautiful, but it is still indisputable. But, thankfully, Juneau has also given us one or two days so far that are filled with sunshine and take this place’s beauty from something mysterious to something absolutely artistic, and something that pictures cannot do justice (but, we can try: )

Just wanting to share the Storypeople of the day:

"Carries a lot of suitcases but all of them are empty because she's expecting to completely fill them with life by the end of this trip & then she'll come home & sort everything out & do it all over again."

There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad gear.

The above mantra may be credited to Paula, one of our JVC Support People living here in Juneau. We are learning very quickly that it is not just a saying, but it is a perspective that you absolutely have to have if you're going to appreciate and enjoy Juneau. On the Saturday we flew into Juneau, it looked like this:


(Click here to see the rest of the album - pictures from the plane & a glacier!!)
Like, I took those pictures. they're not edited or google imaged or anything. That's JUNEAU. Truly incredible. However, it has rained every single day since we got here a week and a half ago, and this is quite typical. For those of us used to sunshine, it's been an adjustment. But the people of Juneau have a healthy attitude about it that is truly remarkable. For example, I live across the street from a beach. It is a real beach, with real sand, and real ocean water beyond it (well, channel water, which is like an extension of the ocean. I'll take it on a technicality. This is how you make lemonade.) Now at home, a beach day would be entirely dependent on weather. Not here. I've been to the beach most of the days I've been here, to picnics and parties and cookouts on the beach held, yes, in overcastness and drizzle and occasionally pouring rain. Yesterday at work, we took the kids to the beach for the entire day. We played on the beach, hiked, even played in the sand. Here, you just literally cannot put things off if it's a rainy day. Because then you'd never do anything!

So, in this Juneau spirit of embracing the outdoors all the time, regardless of weather, my roommate Megan and I both had a day off of work today and decided to go on an adventure. After running a few errands downtown that we'd had to put off since getting here, we set out on the REAL mission of the day: we went to get our xtratuffs!!! Xtra Tuffs are boots. but they are SO much more than boots. They are real, Alaskan fishing boots, they are on the feet of every local in town, they are hideous, and they are. the real. deal.

We've been looking all over town for them, but have been limited by the constraints of the bus system and our schedules. FINALLY Megan and I went to get our boots, and we were so pumped after finally finding them that we took them to the beach to break them in ASAP! And even though it was raining, we could not be stopped from trying to make it as much of a true beach day as possible:




Sunscreen, sunglasses, and a beach towel. We were not going to let the lack of sun stop us from finding some sunshine. And it was a great time!

In other news of challenges and endeavors and great adventures, I started working last Wednesday! I am a Case Manager and a Behavioral Health Associate for a city agency which works primarily with emotionally disturbed children and their families. Right now, it's a lot. I haven't yet been able to get a concrete definition of what either of these positions mean, how I should divide my time between the two positions, what i need to learn about each job, etc. But I am getting a feel for each job having begun to go through new employee orientation, and right now, the case manager part of my job is more intimidating than the BHA part. Yesterday, I acted as a BHA and spent all day with the kids, and the other BHAs at the beach, and I really enjoyed that part. Since my training so far hasn't been directly pertaining to my job(s), I'm still trying to grasp what each job even is. But, the people at my agency are GREAT. They are so kind and helpful, and even though I feel that this position has many sink or swim moments where I will hopefully swim but might sink, I feel supported by them, and that's important to me. I think the overwhelming part comes from trying to start learning my jobs before I actually understand what they are. I'm grasping that there's a lot of responsibility with the case management aspect, and that intimidates me a bit as well. But I do feel that this is a tremendous opportunity, to work with great people, and I am trying to take it one day at a time. The goal I've set for myself is to feel like I feel comfortable in my job by December, when I will hopefully not have quite so many "I don't know what I'm doing!" moments as I do now!

Hope this was informative and enjoyable. Hope it was legible - my dad made me change the font color because it hurt his eyes or something. Is this better, dad?

Love and miss!

A Slice of Juneau

(it's a slice because the library is closing in 20 minutes, and that's not enough time to share the whole pie!)

We are here!! We are loving it!! but yes, we are a bit overwhelmed! I got to Juneau on Saturday night with my 6 other housemates. After flying all day, this town/city was an asbolutely incredible sight to see. Saturday was one of the most beautiful days Juneau had seen in a few weeks, and I have literally never seen anything like this place in my life, not from the air and certainly not on the ground. Juneau is a city with homes and businesses built into mountains, where an ethereal fog perpetually hangs low over the channel that Juneau overlooks. Although Saturday was the only clear day we've had so far (as in, it has poured every day since then), it is so easy to become overwhelmed by Juneau's beauty even as I stand at the bus stop with my boots filling with rain water. So, Juneau is a city of great beauty (and great amounts of rain!). I knew this coming in.

What I did not know, or expect, was the Juneau community that has not only welcomed each of my roommates and myself, but has taken a personal interest in each of us, both as individuals and as volunteers working to better the community. From the moment our plane landed, and I mean that quite literally, we have been bombarded with kindness, with gifts, with invitations, with guidance. It has been so overwhelming in the most fantastic way. Case in point: We landed at Juneau airport and walked to the baggage claim by ourselves. We knew that some former Jesuit Volunteers who would serve as support peopple for us in the coming year would be meeting us to drive us to our house, and they found us quite quickly. Four wonderful former jesuit volunteers greeted us and drove us to our house to set our things down. (the house is incredible by the way, and that's a story for another day). BUT, we had only been in the house for about seven minutes when one of the support people, pat, informed us that we were going to a wedding. right now. A former JV was getting married, and she wanted us at her wedding, for no reason other than the fact that we were the new JVs. So we piled into the car after an entire day of flying, having no dinner or change of clothes or anything like that, and we just went to this wedding. and it was great! people were so genuine and kind, and we even met the group of last year's Jesuit Volunteers (almost all of them; one or two had left already, and almost all of the rest are leaving this week). So we got to talk to them, which was so interesting, because we were moving into their house about 2 hours after they'd moved out, moving into the jobs that they'd had for the past year, and essentially taking their place. they were all so kind and such a helpful resource as we've frantically tried to get to know Juneau these past few days before starting work (tomorrow!!).

In short, I am loving it. I have never moved this far from home before, but I have also never had this easy of a transition before, and I absolutely attribute a lot of that to the community of the city and the community of my roommates. But at the same time, I have come into this with a healthy perspective that has absolutely been cultivated by the support of you wonderful people, and I cannot thank you all enough for that. I want to update more in depth later, but in the meantime I wanted to give you guys maybe not the whole pie, but just a slice of life as it goes for me right now. (not JUST because dan love told me to. i wanted to!)

I very much miss and love you all, and hope that things back east (for most of you, except a select few!) are going well for you. :)

Good juju for Juneau

As if the alliteration in this blog’s headline weren’t enough (I couldn’t resist. There are far too many quality Alaska jokes not to acknowledge them. Juneau what I mean?!), I thought it was only appropriate to describe how I’m feeling about my upcoming year of service in Juneau, Alaska with the phrase, juju. Good juju, to be more specific. In other words, there’re good vibes in the air. Big things are happening, big changes that I’m about to fill you in on.

(changes large enough to warrant, oh I don’t know, creating an entire blog about them, and to hopefully interest you enough to keep up with them!).

But more importantly, there’s good juju happening here. Can you feel it?

I'm spending the next year with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps Northwest, a partner of Americorps that places volunteers in underserved areas around the Pacific Northwest. During this year,I've been placed at Catholic Community Charities of Juneau, Alaska, in a new position that works as both a case manager and a behavioral health associate. Simple living, spirituality, community, social justice are the four components, priorities, values, that JVC Northwest is built on, and that I’ve committed my next year to exploring. JVCNW houses me and six other members, who will be volunteering at different organizations around the city. It’s a program that I’ve got a lot of faith in, a lot of excitement about, and a lot to learn about. Always more to learn.

Although, some minor obstacles in the process of learning about my new home in Juneau might suggest that we'd all be better off knowing as little about Juneau as possible. Initially, I turned to my Googling talents to try to paint myself a picture of the environment I’ll be moving to. I would not advise that anybody do this. Not to brag, but I’d like to brag that I’m a pretty good googler, so take note: an enticing Google profile Alaska in the News does not make. Recent headlines include Alaskan plane collisions, Alaskan bear maulings, and generally anything that Sarah Palin does.

I dug deeper. A google maps search of my Alaskan address returned a photo of this lovely piece of property:


Hmm. The landscaping could use a little work. I guess the whole condemned-haunted-house vibe could be addressed also. Perhaps I should bring curtains?

Thankfully, a virtual walk down my virtual street showed me that at my address was actually a much more adorable, livable place to call home. Clearly, the google map guys must have just been having a laugh while taking a break from driving their little mapping car around the entire world when they linked my address to a photo of the Addams family mansion. Because this house was cute. It was blue. And it pretty much directly looked out at this:


And then I got an email that I actually would be living at an entirely different address, so I repeated the process and am similarly satisfied.

I’m rambling about my house largely because at this point I have little else to ramble about. I’m still a week out before I leave for Camp Orientation outside of Portland, which will go from August 8th to August 13th. I could talk about packing and buying hiking boots, but that would pretty much guarantee that nobody ever reads this blog ever again (and if that happens, then what’s the point of a blog? if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, was it really a tree? Or whatever.)

But on a more reflective note, I’m ready. I am really, really ready. I am looking forward to every aspect that this experience has to offer. I’m looking forward to striving to limit technology and connectivity. I’m looking forward to snail mailings, both receiving and sending. (you are too? Great! My address is 315 E street, douglas, ak 99824!). I can’t wait to meet my six wonderful roommates. I can’t wait for a new city. I feel ready for my job. Well, kind of. Okay, not a lot. I do feel utterly underqualified, being largely unfamiliar with the field of social work. So, there’s that. But more importantly, it’s a field that I want to be familiar with, that I’m seriously considering pursuing and that I’m feeling, I’m hoping, I have a knack for. And how could I possibly decide to actually do that without experiencing it first? And finding this position, in this location, with this program, is also something that I took my time with, and really thought through. I talked to a lot of people, I asked questions, I got second and third and thirtieth opinions on everything, I changed my mind. I took my time, and while in the past that’s never seemed felt like a really okay thing to do, I realized that not only is it okay, it’s necessary. And I have a lot of faith that for some reason, the next step for me that I’ve finally arrived at has to include this specific job, working with these specific people, living in this specific situation, in this specific place: Juneau, Alaska.