Keep my eyes discerned, my hands to learn.

For this post, I've decided to just share something that I wrote in a letter to someone. I feel like it sums up my experience so far pretty well and was something that I wanted to share with you all.
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Suffice it to say that I am exhausted, but I'm exhausted from being challenged, so I think that's a good thing. The challenge of JVC encompasses all things, literally every aspect of your life, but in doing so it forces you to reexamine every aspect of your life and who you are in it, whether you have integrity in remaining dedicated to your character,what parts of that character you even want to stay dedicated to and what parts you don't love so much. There is nothing familiar about this experience, but I am realizing (actually I kind of just realized it, like as I am writing this sentence right now) that maybe we shouldn't just push through unfamiliarity, blowing by it on the way to a new life that feels comfortable and familiar. Instead, maybe we should focus on the vulnerability we feel and embrace it as a chance to hyperfocus on who we are, what parts of us remain stable when a situation feels unstable. These parts create a character. These parts are our gifts.

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The only other thing that I wanted to mention comes from a personal struggle of mine that I've identified, and it's the struggle of being present - being mentally in a place that I am in, whether I have chosen to be there or have been required to. It was a phrase that my yoga instructor mentioned last night in class as a call to refocus:

"Nothing else, just this."

Say it to yourself the next time you find yourself wishing you were someplace else. I found it so important and profound, and at the same time so relievingly simplifying of this concept of being present, and I just wanted to share that as well.

All my love,

Liz

Click here for photos. I hope you drink them in and feel refreshed, as I do every day that I see these incredible sights!!

That's all for now. Enjoy. :)

Oh, hello! Hmm, where to start. I realized that I never know how to start these post things, because I never have a plan for what I am going to write in these post things, so I tend to just launch into my day/week/life happenings. I realize that the more linear-minded of you might struggle with that, but let's just see where it goes, won't that be fun? I would like to introduce you to a word that has defined approximately 70 percent of my waking hours for the past week, actually five weeks: TRAINING. lots and lots. of training. And coming into JVC, I knew that'd be the case. And it really doesn't sound too bad, because you just need to sit there and listen, and you're not really accountable for anything because everyone knows that you know nothing or else, obviously, you would not need the aforementioned training. But the other side of this is that people are talking at you, not to you, and the information they are giving you is often overwhelmingly plentiful and overwhelmingly important, and you know this, but your brain has a threshold, as everyone's does. So, it just. takes. time. This is the most important thing I've had to remind myself of, even when some trainings wrap up and I've begun doing some of my work with the kids. For example, part of my job is to be a behavioral health associate, which essentially means that I spend time with the kids who are my clients and help them work on the parts of acceptable behavior that they struggle with. These kids are all classified as emotionally disturbed or severely emotionally disturbed, and as their BHA I have access to information about all of their history, all of the things that they've seen and experienced that no child should see or experience. It's a challenge to stay present in this job, to interact with a child who is right there in front of me, when all the thoughts running through my mind are of their past, what they've gone through and the injustice of that. And after recently beginning to work with the kids, it's also intimidating to interact with them while knowing that they can be triggered at any moment, by any phrase or change in environment or even the wrong tone of voice. This is where the struggle of being a BHA lies for me, but it is an important one. For now, I want to try to build relationships rather than modify behaviors. i've been challenged by the kids I've worked with, and I am constantly reminding myself that this job will take time. And I'm okay with that.

In recent news, the past three days have been GORGEOUS. unbelievably clear skies, the cliffs at the very top of the mountains clearly visible for the first time in forever. It's incredible how seeing something like that can turn a day around so easily. I'm doing a training with the women's shelter in town because I'd like to volunteer there, so I had to sit in a training room all day on Saturday and Sunday, and it almost killed me! But as soon as we finished, we drove out to one of the more remote parts of Juneau that has some killer views, and then my roommates and I played wiffle ball on the beach and had dinner together. So, I still got my share of sunshine :)

Also, on a random note (hmm that's weird, usually I'm so organized haaa), I've also really been loving connecting with people from Villanova, and from home too. Every single time, I think it's such a day-maker to get an email, facebook message, text, letter (I'm becoming so, so addicted to snail mail), or phone call from people back east. You guys are the people who ground me and remind me of who I am even when I forget, and I can't tell you what all that love means for me. Keep it comin', and know that if I haven't gotten to return an email or call just yet, you're on my list and I look forward to talking to you soon!! Thanks for everything, beautiful people. You're the best!

Today has been a much-needed low-key day. Went to church, went for a mini hike. And somebody from the community is bringing dinner over for us tonight! Just because they wanna!! Gumbo. YUM. It’s been a nice day, although the more low-key days we have, the more we begin to realize how at risk we are of cabin fever. I love to be a homebody and relax, but in these initial weeks of settling into our jobs, we have had a lot of downtime at home, and sometimes it makes me a little antsy! So I’m going to start working a little harder to have a life outside of work that at least sometimes goes beyond coming straight home. I’m looking into joining a gym, looking into different activities and classes there are in the city. One of my JV roommates, Leslie, works at an art studio, and the rest of us are able to take any art class for free if we volunteer for a little, which is exciting! So pretty much, one of my biggest goals right now is getting a life, or at least starting to make a life here that will make it feel a bit more like a home.
At the same time, work is going to be picking up in responsibility as my training starts to wrap up, which is a bit nerve-wracking. But I am looking forward to really delving into this job and learning all that I can from it, which, as terrifying as that is, just can’t really happen until I’m in the midst of it, on my own, not in training but actually doing. Obviously, YIKES. There’s still so much that I’m fuzzy on, and so much that intimidates me, and it’s going to be a stretch. But being stretched is the best way to grow, right?
And regardless of day-to-day worklife stressors, there’s the natural beauty of Juneau, and it honestly makes everything make sense. Juneau is rarely without rain and fog, but even so, it is beautiful in that way. It is a different kind of beautiful, but it is still indisputable. But, thankfully, Juneau has also given us one or two days so far that are filled with sunshine and take this place’s beauty from something mysterious to something absolutely artistic, and something that pictures cannot do justice (but, we can try: )

Just wanting to share the Storypeople of the day:

"Carries a lot of suitcases but all of them are empty because she's expecting to completely fill them with life by the end of this trip & then she'll come home & sort everything out & do it all over again."

There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad gear.

The above mantra may be credited to Paula, one of our JVC Support People living here in Juneau. We are learning very quickly that it is not just a saying, but it is a perspective that you absolutely have to have if you're going to appreciate and enjoy Juneau. On the Saturday we flew into Juneau, it looked like this:


(Click here to see the rest of the album - pictures from the plane & a glacier!!)
Like, I took those pictures. they're not edited or google imaged or anything. That's JUNEAU. Truly incredible. However, it has rained every single day since we got here a week and a half ago, and this is quite typical. For those of us used to sunshine, it's been an adjustment. But the people of Juneau have a healthy attitude about it that is truly remarkable. For example, I live across the street from a beach. It is a real beach, with real sand, and real ocean water beyond it (well, channel water, which is like an extension of the ocean. I'll take it on a technicality. This is how you make lemonade.) Now at home, a beach day would be entirely dependent on weather. Not here. I've been to the beach most of the days I've been here, to picnics and parties and cookouts on the beach held, yes, in overcastness and drizzle and occasionally pouring rain. Yesterday at work, we took the kids to the beach for the entire day. We played on the beach, hiked, even played in the sand. Here, you just literally cannot put things off if it's a rainy day. Because then you'd never do anything!

So, in this Juneau spirit of embracing the outdoors all the time, regardless of weather, my roommate Megan and I both had a day off of work today and decided to go on an adventure. After running a few errands downtown that we'd had to put off since getting here, we set out on the REAL mission of the day: we went to get our xtratuffs!!! Xtra Tuffs are boots. but they are SO much more than boots. They are real, Alaskan fishing boots, they are on the feet of every local in town, they are hideous, and they are. the real. deal.

We've been looking all over town for them, but have been limited by the constraints of the bus system and our schedules. FINALLY Megan and I went to get our boots, and we were so pumped after finally finding them that we took them to the beach to break them in ASAP! And even though it was raining, we could not be stopped from trying to make it as much of a true beach day as possible:




Sunscreen, sunglasses, and a beach towel. We were not going to let the lack of sun stop us from finding some sunshine. And it was a great time!

In other news of challenges and endeavors and great adventures, I started working last Wednesday! I am a Case Manager and a Behavioral Health Associate for a city agency which works primarily with emotionally disturbed children and their families. Right now, it's a lot. I haven't yet been able to get a concrete definition of what either of these positions mean, how I should divide my time between the two positions, what i need to learn about each job, etc. But I am getting a feel for each job having begun to go through new employee orientation, and right now, the case manager part of my job is more intimidating than the BHA part. Yesterday, I acted as a BHA and spent all day with the kids, and the other BHAs at the beach, and I really enjoyed that part. Since my training so far hasn't been directly pertaining to my job(s), I'm still trying to grasp what each job even is. But, the people at my agency are GREAT. They are so kind and helpful, and even though I feel that this position has many sink or swim moments where I will hopefully swim but might sink, I feel supported by them, and that's important to me. I think the overwhelming part comes from trying to start learning my jobs before I actually understand what they are. I'm grasping that there's a lot of responsibility with the case management aspect, and that intimidates me a bit as well. But I do feel that this is a tremendous opportunity, to work with great people, and I am trying to take it one day at a time. The goal I've set for myself is to feel like I feel comfortable in my job by December, when I will hopefully not have quite so many "I don't know what I'm doing!" moments as I do now!

Hope this was informative and enjoyable. Hope it was legible - my dad made me change the font color because it hurt his eyes or something. Is this better, dad?

Love and miss!

A Slice of Juneau

(it's a slice because the library is closing in 20 minutes, and that's not enough time to share the whole pie!)

We are here!! We are loving it!! but yes, we are a bit overwhelmed! I got to Juneau on Saturday night with my 6 other housemates. After flying all day, this town/city was an asbolutely incredible sight to see. Saturday was one of the most beautiful days Juneau had seen in a few weeks, and I have literally never seen anything like this place in my life, not from the air and certainly not on the ground. Juneau is a city with homes and businesses built into mountains, where an ethereal fog perpetually hangs low over the channel that Juneau overlooks. Although Saturday was the only clear day we've had so far (as in, it has poured every day since then), it is so easy to become overwhelmed by Juneau's beauty even as I stand at the bus stop with my boots filling with rain water. So, Juneau is a city of great beauty (and great amounts of rain!). I knew this coming in.

What I did not know, or expect, was the Juneau community that has not only welcomed each of my roommates and myself, but has taken a personal interest in each of us, both as individuals and as volunteers working to better the community. From the moment our plane landed, and I mean that quite literally, we have been bombarded with kindness, with gifts, with invitations, with guidance. It has been so overwhelming in the most fantastic way. Case in point: We landed at Juneau airport and walked to the baggage claim by ourselves. We knew that some former Jesuit Volunteers who would serve as support peopple for us in the coming year would be meeting us to drive us to our house, and they found us quite quickly. Four wonderful former jesuit volunteers greeted us and drove us to our house to set our things down. (the house is incredible by the way, and that's a story for another day). BUT, we had only been in the house for about seven minutes when one of the support people, pat, informed us that we were going to a wedding. right now. A former JV was getting married, and she wanted us at her wedding, for no reason other than the fact that we were the new JVs. So we piled into the car after an entire day of flying, having no dinner or change of clothes or anything like that, and we just went to this wedding. and it was great! people were so genuine and kind, and we even met the group of last year's Jesuit Volunteers (almost all of them; one or two had left already, and almost all of the rest are leaving this week). So we got to talk to them, which was so interesting, because we were moving into their house about 2 hours after they'd moved out, moving into the jobs that they'd had for the past year, and essentially taking their place. they were all so kind and such a helpful resource as we've frantically tried to get to know Juneau these past few days before starting work (tomorrow!!).

In short, I am loving it. I have never moved this far from home before, but I have also never had this easy of a transition before, and I absolutely attribute a lot of that to the community of the city and the community of my roommates. But at the same time, I have come into this with a healthy perspective that has absolutely been cultivated by the support of you wonderful people, and I cannot thank you all enough for that. I want to update more in depth later, but in the meantime I wanted to give you guys maybe not the whole pie, but just a slice of life as it goes for me right now. (not JUST because dan love told me to. i wanted to!)

I very much miss and love you all, and hope that things back east (for most of you, except a select few!) are going well for you. :)